After my first husband died, I attended a conference for widows and widowers. We were sitting in circles of 8-10 people, sharing our stories, commenting on the different life we were leading now, compared to life before our spouse died.
Several of the people shared the same sentiment: “I feel like half a person now. I don’t really know who I am anymore.” “Am I just his widow? Do I have a separate identity?” “Do I even have a purpose now?”
To someone who has never grieved a spouse, those words may seem overstated – but I can attest, while grieving, it is easy to feel that way. And questioning one’s identity can be painful, and lonely.
One time recently when I was meeting with a beautiful, talented young client, she expressed, “I don’t really see that I have a purpose in life.”
Her comment surprised me. From my perspective, this young lady had so much going for her, and an amazing future just waiting for her to bloom and grow into.
But she didn’t see it.
She had forgotten who she was – and so she thought she had no value.
Knowing who we are is vital, especially in such a confused, darkening world. So, who are we?
Psalms 82:6 tells us: “..Ye are gods; and all of you are children of the most High.”
Most of us have sung, countless times, “I am a child of God…” If we really believe that is our heritage, why would we forget? Why would we ever wonder if we have a purpose?
Why? Because we have a very powerful enemy whose main goal is to make us forget – and he’s really good at what he does.
Maurice Harker, LPC, Director of Life Changing Services and author of the book “Like Dragons Did They Fight”, teaches that Satan does all in his power to influence us to forget who we are. And when Satan is successful, he’s in control.
Satan whispers thoughts to us that discourage us, that depress us, and that distract us. He whispers lies so often that we begin to believe them. And all those dark thoughts and lies combine to influence us to forget who we were before we came here; why we are here; and who we can become if we live true to our birthright. We forget our purpose and our worth.
And then we live a different life than we came to live.
What can we do?
The Eternal Warriors program teaches that setting goals is a critical skill in helping us remember our identity, because each day it helps us exercise the values-centered part of our brain over the preference-centered part of our brain.
As soon as we stop just drifting through life and start being intentional, using that values-centered part of our brain, it’s much easier to recognize when Satan is whispering his lies to us. And once we recognize that, we can begin to recognize who we really are.
Just who do you think you are?
You are not Satan’s pawn. You are not those lies he’s been telling you.
You are a child of the Most High.
And knowing that changes everything.